Friday, 10 April 2015

Cafe conversation

(Lightly fictionalized.)

Mmm, these pakoras are good.... Honey, I have some news for you. I am going to become a citizen of your country!

Really! Why?

Well, I owe my love of gardening to being here. And I am a big fan of the Today programme. And I want to vote and to play my role in elections.

You didn't garden before you came here?

No, I started when I was in Colchester... 

I'm.... Aww. I'm quite touched....

And I know two nice English people. By the way, we must call Debbie.
 
You'll have to take the citizenship test! What do you have to learn? How many MPs there are.

Yes.

That is enforced to ensure that we can tell you apart from anyone actually born in England. And you have to learn about fighting people if you spill their pint.

Honey! 

Well, that is great news! Let's get coffee outside.